Effective leadership isn’t about titles or authority—it’s about trust, respect, and communication. Here’s how these three pillars define great leaders.
A Thought-Provoking Question in an Unexpected Place
I was in a cab in D.C. heading to the airport when the taxi driver, a tall African man with a warm smile and kind eyes, struck up a conversation. Small talk is expected during these types of rides, and I dutifully participated. However, when I mentioned that I did leadership consulting, he asked about my educational background. After I shared that my degrees were in leadership, he paused before asking a deceptively simple question:
“Do you think leaders are born or made?”
I blinked, caught off guard by the shift from casual conversation to something far more profound.
“I’m sorry?” I asked.
“Leaders,” he repeated. “Born or made?”
That escalated quickly.
I laughed, delighted by the depth of the question. My friends and colleagues know my aversion to small talk. Tell me about the time you backed into your garage or how your sister-in-law forces everyone to wear matching pajamas at Christmas dinner—but please don’t make me discuss the weather.
This conversation was different. It was philosophical and scholarly, engaging and unexpected. Quite possibly the most thought-provoking discussion I’d ever had in a taxicab. And yes, that sentence didn’t turn out quite the way I thought—but let’s move on.
Are Leaders Born or Made?
I considered the question carefully. Honestly, I’ve seen both scenarios. Some people seem born for leadership, while others stumble into it and grow into the role over time. That’s exactly what I told him. However, he wanted more, so I did what any true academic would do—I made up some numbers on the spot.
“I’d say it’s 70/30. Seventy percent of leaders have natural traits, and 30% learn how to lead.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “So anyone can lead?”
“Yes,” I said. “Anyone can lead.”
And with that, our conversation ended. We had arrived at the airport. After a warm goodbye and a nice tip, I walked into the terminal still reflecting on our chat.
Anyone Can Lead—But How?
I believe anyone can lead, but the real question is: How?
Where does one begin? If you had five minutes to explain the fundamentals of leadership, what would you say?
I say this:
It’s not about the office, the desk, the nameplate, or the business cards.
It’s not the suit, the leather bag, or the Outlook calendar full of meetings.
It’s not about having an assistant manage your events or booking your travel.
It’s not about the title, the pay grade, the parking space, or the perks.
If leadership were about external markers, anyone could do it. However, leadership is about behaviors, actions, and a commitment to values that are practiced daily. It’s the space between thought and action. It’s the art of observation, the skill of saying less, the practice of presence, and the cultivation of stability.
At its core, leadership is built on three fundamental principles:
1. Trust: The Foundation of Leadership
At the end of the day, leadership boils down to one thing: trust. Either people trust you, or they don’t. And trust is built entirely by actions—or the perception of your actions.
One of the most uncomfortable aspects of leadership is the constant scrutiny. Whether you realize it or not, people are always watching. Your decisions, your moods, your communication style, even your food choices—everything is under observation.
While you can’t control every perception, you can ensure that most people trust you by:
- Doing what you say you will do.
- Maintaining professionalism and reliability.
When people trust you to follow through and remain steady, they become more relaxed, more team-oriented, and generally more engaged.
Additionally, trustworthy leaders avoid gossip, remain calm under pressure, and steer their organizations toward stability. They don’t play political games, and they create environments where people feel heard.
2. Respect: Earning It, Not Expecting It
New leaders often assume that respect comes with the title.
It doesn’t.
Respect is earned through shared experiences over time. It is developed by:
- Creating positive, meaningful interactions.
- Navigating challenges together and proving reliability.
When I became an assistant principal in my late twenties, I was assigned to two campuses. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I worked at one school. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and alternating Fridays, I worked at the other. (That’s another leadership article in itself.)
At one campus, the teacher retention rate was high, with many teachers having worked there for over twenty years. Understandably, they were skeptical of a young administrator.
On my first day, a veteran ESL teacher named Estelle approached me. She looked me up and down before asking, “How long were you a teacher?”
“Seven years,” I answered.
She studied me for a moment before nodding. “That’s good enough.” Then she walked away.
That interaction stayed with me. Estelle was respected and had no problem voicing her doubts. However, she was also fair. I knew from that day on that I had to prove myself. Promotions happen on paper. Respect is earned through actions.
3. Communication: The Leader’s Greatest Tool
What you say and what people hear are often two different things.
In leadership, miscommunication can happen in ways that are hard to predict.
It could be:
- The distance between two offices.
- The choice between sending an email or holding a face-to-face meeting.
- The phrasing of a message.
- The tone of voice used.
This is why I developed TRAP communication, a simple framework to keep leaders aligned:
- Transparent: Share information openly. Employees should never feel like key details are being withheld. People need to understand why decisions are made.
- Regular: Communicate on a dependable schedule. A structured cadence prevents information overload and fosters consistency.
- Aware: Think before you send a message. Consider timing, framing, and how your words may be perceived.
- Patient: No matter how many times you say something, someone will miss it. Repeat when necessary. Clarity benefits everyone.
Final Thoughts: The Lifelong Study of Leadership
As I wrap up this reflection, I can’t help but think of that cab driver. I wish I could have continued the conversation. The beauty of leadership lies in the questions we ask about it.
My lifelong fascination is in the study of leadership. Our collective potential is in the practice of it.
So, what’s your philosophy? Have you seen natural-born leaders thrive? Have you witnessed reluctant leaders grow into their roles?
If you had to distill leadership into its most fundamental lessons, what would they be?
Develop them. Master them. And teach them.